Gentleman's guide

How Long Should Sex Last?

How Long Should Sex Last?

This is a question that’s been on our minds for a while now. I’d say centuries, but I’m not quite sure how important pleasing a woman seemed for men in the 1800s. With the rise of the Internet, a lot of us turned to Google for this answer, and Google Trends saw a massive increase in this search especially during the lockdown. The truth is, it depends.

Different couples have different ways to deal with pleasing one another, and there’s no special formula for how long should sex last to please anyone. It certainly does not help that sex means something different for different people.

If you were to consider sex the period in which a penis repeatedly penetrates a vagina - what a delightful pairing of words - people seem to consider that sex should last anywhere from 7 to 13 minutes.

That comes as a little bit of surprise, especially since we’re used to thinking that more is better with sex, and porn managed to shift our perception towards thinking that hour-long sessions are more desirable for both genders.

However, that might not be the case for every couple. A lot of women experience pain from prolonged friction, which makes them think that the actual penetration time should be on the lower end. Instead, most women would prefer for their intercourse to be made longer by exhaustive foreplay, and different types of sex other than the classic PiV.

This means that when a woman says sex should last 45 minutes or even more, she will count in the time spent getting both (or all) partners ready, oral sex, hand stimulation, plus the classic PiV sprinkled here and there to complete the package.

This is great news, especially for men who feel inadequate with their performance, as they can rely on all tools to please their partner, without having to feel the pressure to perform long-winded penetration that - let’s be honest - can get pretty tiring after a while.

Of course, these are all things that should be discussed with your partner, as everyone has a different view on sex and how long it should last. This should only serve as a reminder that a lot of women don’t want you to put on an Olympics level performance, and would prefer some creativity, instead.

It is a well-known fact that a lot of women have issues orgasming with a partner, and this can be due to the fact that many people rely on classical penetrative sex alone when that should only be a small part of the entire menu. If you’ve felt unhappy with your performance lately, or if you’ve found yourself Googling how long should sex last, the answer is probably “less than you think”.

While an hour or more could constitute de norm for sexual encounters, a mix of techniques and some curiosity to explore each other’s bodies are more important than the time it takes you to ejaculate, which means that you probably should not worry. 

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